Intrusive Thoughts

    A thing happened today while I was sitting in my home passing time until my shift at work began. My neighbor across the street, a young woman, happened to walk around the front of her house with her two dogs. A completely innocent, harmless act. And yet a thought popped into my head. Of her. Of her husband (or partner, I don't know if they're married). Of them being intimate together. This made me angry. Not at her, or them, or anyone or anything in particular, just a general anger and resentment. It wasn't the first time I've felt this, just the most recent.

    I don't know if it's because I'm a 31 year old kissless virgin or not. This feeling was overwhelming when I was in college. It could be that since I am an only child I'm feeling the pressure to produce grandkids for my parents. A few years ago I began to wonder if I really wanted a girlfriend/wife or if it was just my parents' expectations rattling around in my head. I manage to suppress those feelings for the most part but they still pop up from time to time.

    Anyway, I'm going to make a short post tomorrow updating my gardening adventures as well as the photo of the week.